I am lonely

last night i couldnt get to sleep, so i started listening to one of my favorite cd's meshell ndegeocello's bitter and i knew instantly that i had to start blogging.

i am a tumble of feelings, notions, ideas, hopes and cynicism.

i shamefully admitted to myself that i am ashamed that i am lonely.

but i am.

fucking lonely.

i am supposed to be too accomplished to feel this way. but i am.

i want someone to laugh at my jokes.

to touch my scalp.

to slide into my moistness between the hours of 4 am and 5:15am.

he would know that he did not need my permission.

i would already be molded to his soul in a union that transcends the bullshit counterfiet ideas of love on celbreality shows *torianddean* *kloeandlamar* bullshit

he would know my craziness and love it.

he would remind me that its ok to be weak and to accept help sometimes.

above all he will be my friend.

so where the hell are you?

hurry the fuck up.

cos i am sooooo lonely.

welcome to my blog.