HAPPY NEW YEAR

I am sorry I really dulled in 2011.

But in 2012, i will be ever present. SO HELP ME GOD.

Any suggestions on how to keep up with this? I missed you guys. I have plenty gist for you.

I am thinking of moving to tumblr. what do you guys think?

i love boys

i ogle men.

all hot men.

tall. lanky. built. lean muscle. perfect teeth.

all races.

here are some sexy men.

THANK YOU GOD FOR THESE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE MEN.

YEZZIR!

signs of a bullshitter

today i want to address bullshitters.

you know some of them. think. yes you do.

NOW IF AFTER THINKING YOU ARE NOT SURE WHO A BULLSHITTER IS, HERE ARE SOME POINTERS.

1. a bullshitter quick to make promises, but never fulfill them. E.g. dead beat fathers, the guy you have met three different times who pretends to remember you each time, makes an indefinite plan to catch up and doesnt, the friend who promised to be your maid of honor then flaked out when it was time to work.... now do you know any of these people?

2. a bullshitter always change appointment dates and times. E.g. they set an appointment to meet you on thursday at 11:00 am, they call on thursday at 11:21am after you have been waiting at the location to tell you that they forgot to tell you that their mothers cousins friends cat got sick on tuesday and they had to take it to the vet.

3. they lie unnecesarily. you invite them for an event. you tell them that you will only purchase tickets for the event if they are sure they will come. they say they are coming, that they just bought their ticket. you go ahead and buy your ticket. because you kinda already know that they are bullshitters (yet you remain in denial), you check in with them every other day to make sure they will make the event. they repeatedly inform you that they already bought the ticket and that they will be there. the day comes, you call them to find out where to meet up and they inform you that they never bought the ticket because they knew they wouldnt be able to make it. *blankstare*

4.they like to name drop and pretend to shop at only designer stores when you know they earn only 8 dollars an hour. NO EXPLANATION NEEDED

5. they claim to be christians and virgins and then in a moment of drunken weakness they confess about the abortion they had and how anal sex hurt the first time they tried it.

i am sure from the above you can now recognize a bullshitter a mile away.

How to deal with bullshitter.

AVOID THEM.

peace

long time no see. MONEY ANSWERS EVERYTHING

sorry guys, its been a minute. i got busy doing other life shit.
work is exhausting but i do it. i am afraid of being poor. i really beleive poverty is a curse. the poor are so marginalized and hopeless. lets not even begin to examine the disdain non-poor people have for poor people. they assume they are lazy, unmotivated, on drugs, bad planners, incapable of responsibility, criminals..... the list goes on.

anyway i am hustling. everyday i am hustling. money fucking talks. i dont care what anyone says. the bible says money answers everything. and do not give me any advice about the dangers of loving money. the saying is "THE LOVE OF MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL." NOT "MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL."

try and be poor for a bit, be unable to eat, or buy sanitary towels when you are on your period, or feed your newborn, or pay your tuition, then you will know that money is a good thing.

anyway sha, if you have money give to thE poor, sponsor charities, sow seeds into the lives of other because poverty sucks. AND IS A FUCKING CURSE!

peace.

if you love Femi Kuti

If you love Femi Kuti, go see him in concert if you can. He is on tour in the United States right now. My friend at www.emalohi.blogspot.com has great photos from his concert. She is an awesome photographer based in Philadelphia and has tons of fun photography series she posts. Also check out her website at www.emalohi.com

I will post more later, just saw the awesome Femi Kuti photos and had to share!!!

He asked me to Sunday Brunch...

Hi guys, yesterday was my swearing in ceremony for passing the bar!!! I am now officially a licensed attorney!!


Hurrayyyyyyyyy!!!

Anyway sha there is this really cute guy that went to college with me and we saw each other during the bar exams after 4 years. anyway yesterday at the swearing in ceremony, we ran into each other again. he left the group he was with to come over to say hello and gave me a long, tight full body hug... OOO LOORDDD!!! i was dying!!

I must say that he is very handsome and intelligent!! HE was getting sworn in with me.

Now this is where I dont know what he wants. We exchanged numbers on the last day of exams (February 24)after staring at each other for two days. Afterwards he sent me a text saying he has my number in his phone for life and after a few hello's and how are you's, we didnt have any more contact until April when I sent him a text congratulating him on passing the bar, and then we did some back and forth and then nothing.

Fast forward to yesterday when I ran into him again. After i left the ceremony, I sent him a text asking him when we will be celebrating. and he replied

"sooner than later i hope"

so i said "is friday after work good?"

and he replied

"this weekend is swamped for me with family (his sister is having a baby) and next weekend i have a wedding in NYC, can we plan for brunch on a Sunday?"

when i read this i was think OMG, he is friending me. WTH does he want to meet me in the middle of the day on Sunday????

i do like him cos he is so smart and handsome and normal (so far)so I was sad that he seemed to want to do Sunday brunch, so I asked one of my guy friends what Sunday brunch meant and whether it means the guy is friend zoning me and my friend replied

"Maybe he wants to marry you" "Sunday brunch is a good thing"

And me being the skeptic that I am refused to beleive so I started doing research online and I found this response to this exact question on Mens Health Website under Ask the Girl next door column.

Sudnay Brunch first date?
Response: Here's what my friends would assume about a guy who invited them out for pancakes: (1) You must be looking for love, since a hookup is pretty hard to pull off that early in the day. (2) You're over your wild phase and into cuddling on the couch. (3) You're mature enough to face an awkward social situation completely sober. All are appealing qualities to someone who's ready to settle down. But to a woman who likes the thrill of meeting after dark and tasting vodka on a new acquaintance's tongue, a brunch date might seem a little boring. And maybe even insulting -- as in, "What, I'm not hot enough to merit dinner?"


I didnt think I wasnt hot enough, I just thought he was thinking I was just a friend. I want to be more than a friend, so guys please help me out. What does Sunday brunch mean?

Why prostitution should be legal and why Rape laws need to be changed...

Sorry I havent blogged for a while. I am working pro bono on some inflamatory cases and I havent had much time for anything else. The cases I am working on have led me to write this piece. Its long but its worth the read.


In law school I took a class called Sex discrimination and we read an article titled "The (Ir) relevance of Consent." The title struck me hard that I paused and tried to formulate in my head what consent, sex and rape have in common in contributing to the subordination of women. According to Justice Brennan’s dissent in Sonoma County (a case we read in which an underage boy raped an underage girl and the court refused to call it rape, saying it was statutory rape) , the historical development of California’s statutory rape statute “demonstrates that the law was initially enacted on the premise that young women, in contrast to young men, were to be deemed legally incapable of consenting to an act of sexual intercourse.” If a woman because of her ‘fragile nature and weak mind” is unable to give consent to sex, then all sexual interactions between young women and men will be considered rape. This idea is insulting, chauvinistic and paternalistic. Many young women are able to consent to sexual intercourse WITHOUT any form of coercion or violence and often do. What do we define as consent for sexual intercourse? Is it the man asking “may I have penetrative sex with you? And the woman responding, “Yes you may,” or “no you may not.”? Does this consent cover any points after that in which the woman changes her mind or says stop now? To me, rape has always been about the subordination, control and use of woman. I have never seen it as a consent issue. Even if a woman signs a consent form for sexual intercourse, may she not change her mind during the act and say so?

My understanding of rape has always been about a ‘taking’. In a taking, there is neither room to ask for or give consent. I think statutory rape laws should be geared towards protecting young underage victims from older predators and should be gender neutral.

Secondly, statutory rape laws between the underage should be moved to rape law. I think the rape by an underage predator of an underage victim should be accorded the title of rape and should not be place under statutory rape. A rape is a rape and because a rapist is underage should not afford him/her a lesser punishment.

We live in a society that celebrates men for their sexual encounters and condemns women for their sexual encounters. Women are demonized by both men and women for their sexual experiences and because of this, many people do not report rape, especially acquaintance rape. When I was 17 and had just started college, my best friend’s older brother came to visit me in my college dorm and then proceeded to try to rape me. He hit me on my stomach and thighs and choked me as I struggled. Even though he was not successful in raping me, his attempt was highly traumatic for me. I would have been confused about if it was rape or if I had given consent if he had not been physically violent towards me. I struggled with reporting this crime because of the social stigma and the assumption that I may have given consent because I allowed him to visit me in my room. Shortly after this incident, I became very interested in acquaintance rape and took a poll of 15 of my female friends and every single one of them had encountered attempted rape or actual rape by an acquaintance which they never reported. When I read that 1 in every 6 U.S. adult women have experienced an attempted or completed rape, I was astounded. I think this issue would be better addressed by society and not necessarily legislation or litigation. This is because; many women do not report acquaintance rape and those who report may be unsuccessful at litigation because of all the biases in the minds of society, judges and jurors.

I think society as a whole is in a better position to address this issue by changing the attitude regarding women, their sexual desires and its expression and their right to say no at any point during a sexual encounter. Community education, case scenarios and a general belief in the value of a woman and her thoughts will go a long way in reducing acquaintance rape. I doubt this will ever happen as it takes decades to change the set attitudes of society on a view.

Under the Rape Shield law, there is an exception which states that a pattern of prior sexual conduct may be admitted or prior sexual conduct between the complainant and the defendant may be admitted as proof of probable consent. These exceptions belittle a woman. Just because a woman has had sexual intercourse with a man at one time does not mean she agreed to have sexual intercourse with him at another time. This assertion gives the impression that one sexual interaction with a man, gives a license for sexual interaction at any other time. In addition, because a woman has engaged in prostitution does not mean she cannot refuse sex with a man. It is obvious that legislation is incapable of encompassing every aspect of areas regarding rape. On the issue of he said she said scenarios, it still falls to society to be honorable in their dealings and be honest in their assertions. If societal ideas about a woman’s sexual experiences were different, women will not make false accusations of rape.

In a recent article on the BBC news website in February , a recent survey in London showed that women think rape victims should take the blame for their rape. The online survey, titled Wake Up To Rape, polled 1,061 people aged 18 to 50, comprising 712 women and 349 men. Almost three quarters of the women who believed that a rape victim should take the blame for their rape said if a victim got into bed with the assailant before an attack they should accept some responsibility. One-third blamed victims who had dressed provocatively or gone back to the attacker's house for a drink. Of the women who believed some victims should take responsibility, 71% thought a person should accept responsibility when getting into bed with someone, compared with 57% of men. The survey also found that more than one in 10 people were unsure whether they would report being raped to the police, and 2% said they would definitely not do so. The main reasons were being too embarrassed or ashamed (55%), wanting to forget it had happened (41%) and not wanting to go to court (38%). These figures and attitudes continue to be the reason why rape is still so rampant and difficult to prosecute or legislate. I do not think that a woman’s dressing or flirtatious attitude should be seen as a license to be violated sexually.

ON WHY PROSTITUTION SHOULD BE LEGAL.
Prostitution encompasses so many facets of the life of a woman engaged in that vocation, that to look at it singly as a woman selling her body for money is narrow minded. The issue of prostitution should be addressed through legislation. I personally think that prostitution should be made legal and those women who choose to be prostitutes should be treated as employees if they work for a brothel and should be covered under labor laws. If they are treated as employees, they would have access to medical care, pay taxes and have a retirement or benefit plan. I think removing the stigma and criminalization of prostitution will help to decrease sex trafficking, sex slaves and child trafficking. I agree that there are prostitutes who are coerced into prostitution by others or their circumstances but I also believe that if prostitution was not seen as a criminal or immoral act, many would not be pressured into doing it. The secrecy behind prostitution is what fosters the environment of abuse by pimps. If legislation is passed that taxes employee prostitutes pay, and requires work authorization to be hired in a brothel, the instances of trafficking poor immigrant women may be reduced. I am not suggesting that this will be enough to restrict or tackle human trafficking but it may help. I support a woman’s right to choose in every area of her life. If a woman chooses to become a prostitute; and prostitution is a trade, then these women should be respected for their choice and protected in their trade. It is patronizing and insulting for those who are not engaged in the trade to assume that no ‘normal’ woman would want to have so many sexual partners. According to some sociologists, when prostitutes give favorable accounts of their experience, they are engaging in “neutralizing techniques.” They go on further to explain that sociologists us the term to describe the way socially despised and marginalized groups survive marginal condition and they do this to avoid self contempt. This idea propagates the system that thinks that women are unable to make intelligent choices about their bodies and their sexuality and so these decisions need to be made for them. I do not think that in an ideal world of true equality that commercial sex would be exploitative. I think it would be a legitimate business transaction. WITH THAT BEING SAID, I KNOW THAT PROSTITUTION THE WAY IT IS TODAY IS DEGRADING, VIOLENT AND SICK. READ MORE ON THIS HERE

http://www.npr.org/2011/04/26/135702065/relapse-and-recovery-a-tale-of-two-prostitutes

I AM ADVOCATING FOR THE LEGALIZATION OF PROSTITUTION IN ORDER TO REDUCE ITS LURE AND KILL BUSINESS FOR PIMPS AND NOT THAT PROSTITUTION IS GOOD OR RIGHT OR MORAL. SO DONT LEAVE ANY BS COMMENT.

In conclusion, rape and prostitution are two areas that impact women in ways of their sexual expression, desire and right to refuse or give sex to another person. These issues fall squarely under the dominance theory. It shifts the focus of attention from gender-based difference to the imbalance of power between women and men. This power imbalance has been created by society that values men, their thoughts and ideas above women, their thoughts and ideas. This perspective makes the relevant inquiry of whether a rule or practice serves to subordinate women to men. For example, the practice of arresting prostitutes who tend to be women in general and not their pimps who tend to be men in general serves to subordinate women to men. This among many laws, ideas and perceptions about women, rape and prostitution serve as part of a larger system of categories and concepts designed to make women's subordination seem natural and legitimate. This should be challenged by a change in society’s perceptions, more female law makers contributing to legislation that addresses this issue and less stigma attached to women’s sexual choices.

Sorry for all the ranting. Tomorrow I will have a lighter blog post.